HALFWAY THERE
By: Ryan Williams
There is one thing I believe we all have in common in this world, something that binds us all in solidarity without us even knowing or talking about it. That’s right... I'm talking about setting goals and not completing them. I can guarantee that all of us have set a goal or a new year’s resolution then shortly after either give up on ourselves or come up with an excuse on why we stopped.
So we commonly quit but what isn’t common, is talking about why we stopped. It can be so debilitating to the psyche when we give up on a goal we have set because we know deep down that it wasn't the goal that we gave up on, it was ourselves. I was a huge participant in giving up. I can't tell you how many workout plans or diets I have started but never followed through, even though I knew they would help me feel better, lose weight, and be healthier.
I finally decided to stop and rethink how I was doing things. This past year of my life I have taken the time to focus on ME. And as I sit here today, I can now tell you it has been one of the most difficult, challenging, rewarding and most beautiful years of my life. In 2023, I decided that to truly take the time to learn about myself I needed to be as clear headed as possible, so I decided to stop drinking alcohol. At first I knew it would be challenging to stop because I love having fun and letting loose. What I didn't expect was how challenging the mental aspect of the goal would be. All of last year I suffered from the worst anxiety I have ever experienced, depression that felt like it could not be helped and a sense of feeling alone. All of these were something I never expected to happen. I felt like by me not drinking I would be this superhuman that would have everything in order mentally, physically and spiritually, but that wasn’t the case.
But I never gave up. There were so many times when I felt beyond stressed and wanted a glass of whiskey. I envied people who drank because they were allowed to get out of their heads for a moment in time. I was jealous constantly but for some reason I never took a sip. For some reason I knew that what I was doing was better for me and better for my family. A year went by and I am proud to say that I went a year sober. The celebration within myself was massive! I couldn't believe that I did it honestly. I realized that my elation had nothing to do with the actual drinking, but rather the fact that I had set a goal and completed it. From doing this one task, I proved to myself that I am capable of so much. In short, it took me a year of not drinking to learn how to be proud of myself. As I type this up today, I still don't drink alcohol and I dont even think about it much.
But at the beginning of 2024, I knew that I needed a new goal. I wanted to feel the elation of completing a new task so I decided to work on my physical health. In December of 2023 I started to make a list of races and competitions to complete by the end of 2024. That list evolved into 12 races. So I promised myself that I would do one race a month for the whole year. And today, I am halfway there.
I didn't tell you this little backstory to just express what has been going on in my life. I wanted to paint the picture that if I can do it, you can! I’m not saying you need to stop drinking or create a yearlong goal. What I am challenging you to do is to create a goal and DO IT. Me and the ones around you know that you are capable of anything you set your mind to, YOU just have to be the one to believe it. Completing any goal takes a lot of mental toughness which ironically is something you can only gain by practice. So, the best thing to do is just to start (and I know what you're thinking “Oh just start.... So easy... NOT). But please just indulge me and try. There will be times when the little devil on your shoulder will try to persuade you into quitting or cheating, but I promise that if you can win the little battles within yourself the reward at the end will be magnificent.
You see, when you start to have the little mental wins in your every day, you start to realize that you can do it! Write down 5 goals right now before moving on...I’ll wait.
Now while looking at these goals, pick one that you think will be the easiest to accomplish. This could be making your bed every day or sitting in silence for 3 minutes before opening Instagram in the morning. It could be anything you have been wanting to start doing.
Now with that goal in mind, I want you to close your eyes and imagine completing that goal and write down how you feel. Don't just imagine the celebration. FEEL it. Experience the feelings you will have. Actually smile and illuminate the joy and happiness. I also want you to talk in the present moment that you have completed this goal. For example, instead of saying “I am gong to try to start running,” start saying, “I am a runner”. Become who you want to be within yourself and the universe will start to treat you that way.
Whatever feelings and emotions you just wrote down, I promise you will feel a million times better than how it felt writing it! To the people who actually wrote something down, I am so proud of you for taking this step and I know you can accomplish your goals. Being able to stay disciplined with these goals, whether big or small, will create this fine-tuned machine within you to tackle even more goals. Once that snowball starts to grow and you realize the power within yourself, your view of yourself will change with it.
Lastly, I have one final assignment. This may be the hardest piece of the puzzle for some as it was for me. Speak your goals to the ones around you. Have your friends and family help you and keep you accountable. Express your difficulties to your family and friends - you may be surprised at how they are going through something similar. Love yourself enough to keep your promise to yourself and take control of this beautiful life you have created. Stay the course and one day you'll be so happy to tell me that you're halfway there.
I would love to hear about your goals and help keep you accountable if you need! Please feel free to email me with any questions, comments or thoughts you may have at Backstepcoaching@gmail.com
